look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
