I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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