Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
