Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
