i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
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She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
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Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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