i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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