Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
