No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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