Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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