i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
