Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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