im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
