You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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