I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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