I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
