Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
