My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
