never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
