Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
