I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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