Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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