Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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