Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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