she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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