Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i out mim tonsoeep
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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