im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
