Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
