whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
