just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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