You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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