I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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