they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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