i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
