Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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