she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
