I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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