Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
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I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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