I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
