Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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