rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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