what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How does it feel to date your dad?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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