I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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