Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
