we're chasing vodka with high fives
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
