Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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