Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
