The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
