So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Redeem this text for a blowjob
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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