a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
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After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
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I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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