walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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