She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
