Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
