Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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