'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
