so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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