He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
