just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
