the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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