i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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