Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
