I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
