Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
