Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
